A_Soldiers_Angel

2005-10-14T20:52:00.000+02:00

Well another day almost over and i'm one day closer to seeing Joe.

I haven't talked to him in a few days now, and all of sudden, it hits me that im leaving soon. I'm leaving this country, my friends and family to start my own family. All i have known will just be memories. It's wierd. I'm gonna miss this place after all i think. I think after being here for so long, has made me real tired of all the people here. They're "special". (i guess i'm included).

I didn't work today, but just started to clean out my room and went through my stuff. Turns out i had a lot more things than i thought i did.
I realized that i cannot bring all my stuff with me to the states, so..i dunno what to do with all the "leftovers".. Hmm.. oh well, i'll figure it out later.

I spent the entire night watching O.C.C.I was so lazy and just sat around and watched it for hours. That Paulie guy, is so hot! (of course no one could ever beat my sexy husband though) He just seems like a real sweetheart! Dunno if i'd want his dad as my inlaws though..

I hope Joe will call me soon. Tomorrow i'm back to work/ I only have 2 weeks left now at that place. Can't wait!

Baby if you read this., I love you and am thinking about you daily. I can't wait for you to come home and to complete you again.

I'll always love you!
Only yours
Victoria

This guy, is so hot!

I miss Joe

2005-10-11T20:30:00.000+02:00

Our first year anniversary as a married couuple is coming up and I can't believe i have to spend it with a computer.
I remember when Joe proposed to me! I won't get into it, but it was very sweet.
(Pic=My engagement ring)

I think i have become obsessed with the news! I'm living such a tradgic life these days. I'm just waiting for Joe to come home! (2 months and 9 days to go)
I can't wait to go to see Jimmy in November. I'm so excited! My brother is so much fun hangin aroung with. He always makes me smile.

I was doing some wedding stuff the other night. I can tell you one thing. Our wedding ceremony will be a fairytale. It's gonna be a dreamwedding and i'm marrying my prince. And i am so lucky because my very best friend, Sophia, will be there. She is so sweet and i love her a lot! I'm so lucky to be her friend.. She really is everything! Everytime i'm with her, she always fills me with energy to do anything. She is so incredible how she is coping with my worries and all regarding Joe, I could not ask for a better person! She is my friend, sister, my everything! I love u girl.

I haven't talked to Joe in a while now. Although we stay in touch through emails but its not the same as hearing my sweet husbands voice. Isn't loving someone the best feeling ever? I'm still (if not more) in love with Joe as i was the first week i met him, and we are now celebrating 3 years together. Oh i miss him so much...

2005-10-03T23:47:00.000+02:00

Hi
Life sux!

I have discovered that i am living an extremly boring and depressing life.
Enouh said about that!

Other news?
I'm leaving this craphole in less than 2 months. My husband is comming home in 3 months.
I also got my green card and quit my two jobs. Now i'm just trying to kill time untill i get on that airplane.
I'm leaving on the 16th of November to go to Minnesota to stay with my brother for a while.
I'm so excited about gettin my apartment.
It's gonna suck to have to leave my parents and have them on the other side of the world. But what i won't do for my dear husband.

Joseph is still stuck in the sandbox. He is really tired of bein there at this point and says he just wants to come home and this whole deployment has gotten old. Well Amen to that!! (I'm so tired of this as well, darling but Lord know i could not be more proud of you)
He should be home no later than january. Oh my god i am so excited..
I will be welcoming him home as his wife.
Oh i love that man.

2005-07-26T10:15:00.000+02:00

I know! It's been some weeks since my last post. Geez, how could i? I'm sorry!
Everything is fine though.
I have been busy with work and my whole green card procedure which takes forever. Argh!!!

I had the best birthday ever!!! I got a fricken new car. Yay!
I also, got the most beautiful ring from my husband. A CZ double banded platinum ring. It's so pretty! I feel so beautiful wearing it.

Well, the wheather herere, surely stinks. It's been raining pretty much all lof july. (pretty bad spot for tourism) Oh well.. I don't see why anyone would want to come to this depressing country anyway.

Yesterday i went shopping with my mom, i got some stuff for mine and joe's apartment. *sweet*
I don't like spending money when it's my own. Haha. wow that's bad, Nah, i mean, when i was little girl, i would get something if i wante dit really bad. (spoiled?) - Oh yeah, i'd say so..
But now when i'm married i can't put on that tiny dress and that smile i used to wear back then to get what i want. Haha. I don't mind buying stuff for us though, because i know it will be ours.

I talked to Joe last night, Oh man, i miss him so much. I think hearing his voice is worse than the fact that i know how far away he is, because it's like he is here, but i can't see or touch him.

Well. I gotta take my dog out for a daily walk...

Precious muffin, huh?

2005-07-07T23:38:00.000+02:00

So after a few days i am back to my big suprise.
I have realized time pass by fatser when you don't reflect and think about it.

Anyways, i've been lazy and not feeling like updating lately.
I spent these last few days out by our summer cabin.
being back there made me miss joe even more, because of all the moemories we made there. I didn't know wheather to laugh or cry. I find that sometimes thinking of him and the time we had together here is more hard emotionelly.
So by the way, Xcuse my language.
It's been a while since school and not talking to joe everyday makes me lose my words and grammar more often than it should.
I know what it's like though with people who hardly can make their point. We have a lot of those people here. It's crazy! All these people come here from the middle east, and don't even wanna try to learn the Swedish language, but just be a public charge. I have so many stories about them that would make anyone cry.
Like some people in another county, (not in my neighbourhood) are really pissing me off.
These people are just becomming more and more adjusted to the society their own way. I'll give you an example.

Like we have some people living in the "ghetto" which is a outside of town. These pople living there, have their own freaking buss and buss driver becasue they don't wanna learn how to read a watch. So they use an excuse such like they can't read a timetable for the bus, so they need tehir own buss with a driver so they can run errands and so on.
The most sick part is that our government doesn't even care about this.
They just let these people run all over them without even stop and think for a minute. So it's people like me, who has to provide for them with my tax money. Sounds crazy enough? Well, imagine living here, and see all these people takng advantage of all they can get.
Don't get me wrong though, there are plenty of good hard working people as well, but they are the minority.
I dunno, i think with all the different cultures and races we have here, there's gonna be a civil war within a few years. Really is too bad.. I mean, i love my country to death and if i'd have to defend it, i'd be ready in a heartbeat.
I just think it's so sad how easy it is to come and live here.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!
I guess all of this is after the terror attack in London today..

It made me so sick to hear about that. Who are all these sick animals perfoming these disgusting attacks? Just some failed abortions i guess.
(Now you can see this is making me really pissed) so maybe i should just think good thoughts.. now..

ssooo.. I'm so xcited to see Jim again on monday. It's been a whole year since i saw him.
I can't believe it's been that long.
I feel kinda bad for him though. Having to travel all the way here with two toddlers. Also i feel bad for all those people on the plane having to hear crying babies for 9 hours. I know what a pain that can be. You usually get to a point where you just want to push some cotton in to that babies little mouth. One time when i was flying to Colorado to see joe, i was on this damn plane for 12 hours and had a crying baby on the other side of the aisle. He has been crying for hours and i was just as worned out as the dad. Haha, i got so frustruated with this poor dad for not taking care of his son so i looked over at them and was like- Ok, you've pissed off the whole plane now, what's next? You want the pilot to go down at the nearest airport so you'll get some attention on the speaker phones as well?
I was so tired after that trip but just like always, it was worth it.
I think one of the funniest thins about flying to the states is when you have to go through the security and customs.
Haha, the questions they ask you are just absurd, and the security rountines are usually a good show that keeps me entertained for a while.
I mean, i don't mind it, i think it's good they are being so careful with whom has to put their shoes on the luggage car wash or drink out of their juice bottle etc.
nah, I Love America!! Those people there are just doing what they are told to do just like any other employee.
Like i was saying to joe, i don't think i'd be going this whole procedure for any other country than the greatest country on earth. Getting my residenc in the states has taken me almost 6 years and i'm still not done. I should be on the last chapter though.. But i know in the end, it will so be worth living there. I'll be a great honor to me to walk the streets like any other american.

So my dad's birthday is coming up, and i have no idea what to get him. I never know what to get people for their birthdays. SO far, i've made him about 40 HUGE ccinnamon rolls, but still don't think that adds it up.. Any suggestions?
Hm.. he is a pilot so getting him a travel book or something like that would just be ironic.

with my birtday just a few days away, i am making all kinda of plans to keep me busy and my mind off from missing Joe. Last year was great. We went to target and did all kinds of crayz stuff. Haha. it was a great birthday acctually. I guess all i want for it this year, is for Joe to come home safely along with all the other troops over there.
I know it's just a matter of time though! We all just have to wait a little bit longer.

Well time for bed. Maybe i'll be back tomorrow, maybe not, Don't wait up for me!

Love you Joe.. Come home soon!!

2005-07-02T22:30:00.000+02:00

Sorry it's been a few days since my last post.
Everything is fine with me and joe. We both have been really busy with work though.

My job is still really too hectic for me, but i'm hanging in there, the guys i am wroking with are awesome so that makes it easier and helps the day go by faster.
One guy working in the same building is from Afghanistan and came here 2 years ago. I talked to him and asked him about what he thought of the U.S invade. Of course, he said he didn't see the point of it, but somehow, the work needed to be done but now they should just hand it over to the afghans and go back to america.
I was really puzzled about our conversation. I asked him how he thinks the people on the other side feel about being there when the citizens aren't making an effort to build up their own country, therefore, troops must be there? We talked for a while and i ended up getting mad with him. Hahah.. although, he is a good guy and don't have anything against him, I just don't concider him as a friend. if ya know what i mean.
Although i agree with him in the matter that something had to be done 3 years ago in afghanistan. But i dunno.. I'm speechless.

so i found out these great news that my brother, Jim, and his family are coming for a visit next week. That will be amazing.. I haven't seen them in so long.
It's so wierd, My brother is a dad of two now, i still concider him as my brither who lives at home. I dunno, i guess i haven't really pictured him as a dad these last few years. And now, he's having two!! Me and Joe hasa lot of catching up to do when he gets home.
Nah, as much as i am looking forward to having a baby with Joseph, i couldn't imagine myself as a mom right now.
Bringing a baby into this world comes with so much responsibility that you have to put everything else aside and not focus on anything else, and right now, niether me or my husband are at that point in our life where it's right to do so because of our careers and so on.
I am really looking forward to the day when we are ready though. It'll be a wonderful journey with him by my side.

well i'm off to bed.
G'night everyone.
I love you Joe!

I salute you!

2005-06-29T13:06:00.000+02:00

"A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that seperate

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight

it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know,and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

And when the last one falls

When it's all said and done

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me"

I LOVE THIS SONG! Don't ask me why my husband always pops up in my head when i hear it.. Hmm..

Today i feel like.. um.. all DEPRESSED! Yeah! you heard me!!

I just don't feel like doing anything becides crying out my heart and missing Joe!

I wanna let everyone know that i am deeply sorry for that tragic helicopter crash on thuesday in Afghanistan. My heart and prayers go out to all the families and friends. I know when such tragedy happens, no words are enough to cover the pain. But you should all know our soldiers will always be remembered in history and represent the meaning of the word "hero" for eternity.

Thank you America for serving your country! I salute you!

**God Bless you**

2005-06-28T21:05:00.000+02:00

Yay! Joe called me today!! I was happy to hear from him and to know he is doing okey.
Like always, he sounded so tired. My poor baby!
We talked about moving on post when he gets back. Hopefully my green card will be ready within the next months. I just need to get some papers from Joe now, and then get called to an interview at the U.S Embassy then i should be all set to get out of this place.

Oh, Good news! Sarah called me tonihht and broke down the news that they might be comming over here soon. I got so excited. It's been so long since i saw them. And even worse, i haven't seen my nephew yet. Of course i've seen pictures. and he is cute, but it's never the same.

Other than enjoying my week off from week, i haven't reallybeen doing anything. Just looking at wedding stuff. I can tell you one thing, Our wedding will be an expensive one! LoL, i know i sound like a spoiled brat, so i should might as well admidt that maybe i am one. I dunno, i just see so many things i want for it which is very good coz i am a VERY good shopper.

Nothing else xciting going on here, I just miss Joe more for every day and dream about our reunite.

"Temptation i'm calling you, when the night falls my heart calls for the touch of your hands"

-I love you Joseph!
*God bless our troops*

2005-06-26T06:22:00.000+02:00

Ahh!! I'm so excited!! I've found this great banquet for our wedding reception! It's beautiful.. it's gonna be perfect.

Nothing new to tell really. I am still working my butt off these days and so is my husband. I'm so proud of him!!

i'll update later..

2005-06-23T10:25:00.000+02:00

Haha, so yesterday didn't exactly go as planned. Just when i was gonna ready to head out, my manager from work called me and was all like-" um, are you comming in today"? i had forgot that i had to work so i didn't show up. Haha..He was cool about it though, he was like- well it´s not on your schedule so how could you have remembered. I went through the whole day feeling soo akward. Haha.. Oh well. I´m back there tonight again as well, but he won't be there then so hopefullly i will be able to breathe.

My arm hurts like a *** today from the shot i got two days ago. I got a big bruise and it looks really nasty. I don't mind getting shots, but i could go without the aftermath. Oh well.. I guess it'll be worth it in the long run. I shouldn't even complain. Haha, Joe told me about those anthrax shots and i almost fainted.

Tomorrow we have this swedish holiday called "midsommar" which i assume "mid-summer" would be the correct translation for in english. It´s a really cool holiday acctually. You eat fish and drink as much as you possibly can till you pass out. This is the one and only holiday when the police department acctually have something to do. I like it though,
we also have this other weird holiday where you gather with your friends and family to go out to the woods and watch some guy set fire on old trees and bushes, this is also a holiday known for it's alcohol intake.
Don't ask me why we do this! I guess it's just so my people will have an excuse to drink in this dark depressing country.

I found out that Joe called me last night while i was at work. I think missing a call from him is even worse than having him not call at all.
Every time i talk to him is always a blessing and i just love to talk to him and hear about his day and how work's going. I'm so proud of him and his accomplisments.

well, duty is calling..

2005-06-22T09:35:00.000+02:00

I´m gonna try to update more often from now on..i´ve just been busy lately.

Yesterday i went to the medical institute to get my final exam done. I had to x-ray my lungs and get all these shots for preventing getting all kinds of diseases. I spent my whole day there and was all bruised when i got home. Poor me!
The worst part was when i had to pay an insane amount of money. The worst is yet to come, when i go to the embassy i´m gonna have to pay a whole lot more in cash. I guess i just have to swallow it and move on or whatever..

Joe called me last night, he sounded really tired. He´s working every day and have duty at night. My poor soldier..He said he had moved to a different location where it was pretty nice coz they had decent internet and a.c access.
He also mentioned the Arizona cheerleaders came out for a visit the other day. Of course my husband was at duty at that time, so he didn´t get to see blown up boobies in a tiny uniform. Oh well, i guess i know what to purchase for his homecoming.

So anyways, it´s been really nice to have a few days off from work these last few days. Tomorrow it´s back to work though! Gah!! I shouldn't complain though, there's always something going on at work, the other day, i had some people dressed up as vikings comming in. It blew me away and all of a sudden, i felt like i was back in history. I think i know why my country is known for the vikings all over, they're fricken hot!!!! LoL..
But i guess working at the airport you see a lot of odd behaviors.
I really miss going to the states. For as long as i can remember, i´ve always flied, (could have something to do with the fact that my dad's a pilot) but still,
i'd always be on a plane somewhere, mostly to my baby, but not anymore, and i miss that.
And it really sucks because i can't fly to america now since they are processing my paperwork. So i guess i have to wait till it's done, and the worst part is, no one has an answer of how long it will take to get them done.

I have also started this whole procedure of our wedding ceremony. Me and joe got married in a court house right before he left, and decided to have a ceremony once he returns from iraq. And since his homecoming is comming up, i´ve started brainstorming.
Niether one of us, wants to have a huge celebration with houndred's of people present. We just want our family and friends to be there, not like, our friends friends and they´re friends plus that guy their neighbour is dating or the woman who walks their dog during the summer.
I think a wedding is a really beautiful event that should only have people you really love at. My brother's wedding was very pretty, just the perfect size. That was almost 6 years ago and back then, i remember i was thinking: "-one day, that will be me up there, pledging my love to my soulmate" But i never could have dremed of that it would happen this soon and at such an early age.
I know a lot of people here and questioning my marriage because i am so young.
I try to act like i don´t care about it, seriously! When i met joseph, love was the last thing on my mind! even less i thoughht i´d fall in love with him. But there was just something about him that made me want him even more for every time i was around him.

I know i will always love Joseph. Don´t ask me how i know it, but i do know that i am in love with him, and not the feeling of being in love. When i entered this marriage with him, it was for both good AND bad times. It wasn´t like i thought we´d never fight or anything like that. Of course i was terrified about it, and so was he. But i strongly think that you can't put an age, color or name on love. Love truly is blind, and it is what it is.
I know that me and joseph will gonna have to work on our marriage throughout our life,
I think all these couples breaking up or ending p getting a divorce, are not willing to work on their marriage.
The key to a good relationship is trust, and you have to earn trust in order to give it.
I am just blessed to have some people in my life that support our marriage. I will be with him forever because there is nothing about that man that i do´n't love.
Also, i´ve realized that as an Army wife, you need to make every day count. I truly do feel like every day is a blessing wheather i am withjoe or not. Every day is a gift and It's only up to you what you wanna do with it.

2005-06-20T09:15:00.000+02:00

Yesterday was absolutely crazy at work! I have never seen anything like it. I'm really tired of all these people! Where do they all come from! they just appear out of nowhere.. Phew! Oh well atleast i have a few days off this week.

Tomorrow i'm going to this medical exam for my visa application to come to america. Good thing i´m not afraid of hospitals coz i have a storng feeling i will be spending my whole day off there!

On friday night i found out that my uncle passed away from suffering from high blood preasure for a long time.
i feel so bad coz there ain´t nothing i can do to help my poor auntie! Joe really liked him and was looking forward to get to know him more, so a part of me is just breaking coz i know that will never happen. But i guess we all have to be happy for the time he was here, right?
When stuff like this happen, you truly come to realize what really matters in your life!!

**Not in a talkactive mood now, i´ll be back tomorrow**

2005-06-18T19:47:00.000+02:00

Are ya´ll getting tired of this song yet?? If so, turn off your spearkers because it´s here to stay! I guess there´s no need to explain why i can relate to it so well these days!
Seriously guys, I miss my joseph more than anything. I´d do anything for that man! I just hope he won´t get sent into harm´s way. I love him to death!! Joseph always gives me so much energy. Just by being around him and even knowing him, makes me a better person.

So, today was nothing out of the ordinary. I went up, got to work and came home to find an email from my husband. Which always brighten up my day.
I read on the news that the president still has no plans with a withdrawl. It's funny! He's really into other countries withdrawl from countries, but not when it comes to his own army, that man really can´t seem to take a hint very well.

**I think about you, baby**..

So anyways, i found out after talking to one of my girls today that she had gone to the New York for the weekend´for the first time in her lifetime. Now she is flashing about how expensive it is there and how bad it smells. I think that girl has her mouth too close to her nose, but i could be wrong!

Well, i´m gonna go do something else now!!
I´ll be back with an update on my exciting everyday life without my husband soon.
Peace out ya´ll and pray for my husband!!

**Darling, I love you more than anything else, I could go on forever about my love for you, joseph,
Know in your heart that i am very proud of you and even though we are going thrugh this and all your sacrifices, i wouldn´t want to spend my life with anyone else but you, untill the day i will see you again, stay safe in my heart. I miss you so much, and soon this nightmare will be over and we can breath again**
Your Victoria

2005-06-17T16:18:00.000+02:00

today, was.. umm.. hot! humid, icky, sweat wheather! I´m not a big fan of that. I do like it when it´s warm and sunny, but not when it´s so hot that you experience what it´s like to be a kid all over again when you were stuck in that HOT TIGHT overall that no matter what, you just couldn´t seem to get out of. Urgh!
I can´t imagine what all the poor troops are going through, they have to wear all that heavy gear which must be atleast 3 overalls over eachother.. Am i acting like i´m loosing it here? Let me explains..

Well, when i got up this morning, let me re-phrase that, when i fell out of bed this morning, i found out i had overslept, so, i went downstairs to get a cup of coffe. And i am teling you, i don´t think anyone has ever hurt themselves as much in so little time, ever as i did! I didn´t even think it was possible.

Lucikly my day got better when Joe called! Yay!
And that´s about it..

I´m gonna go get sum dinner now!!

*i´m here without you baby*
*but you're still on my lonely mind*...

Stupid pigeons!!

2005-06-16T16:09:00.000+02:00

Well i guess no one else but me is to blame for for not being here!
Luckily i don´t need an excuse! Yay! But i guess it also means that no one really missed me!!

Anyways.. what´s new? Hmm.. I worked this morning. Got in at 0630, at that time, i was too tired to even remember why i had gotten up, got dressed and went off to work. Not after briefly
a good 10 minutes i suddenly recalled where i was and what the day would have to offer me.

I´ll tell you something else..Ya´ll know how bad it sucks being here, i mean, i'd even settle with being in Germany, Haha! But this place. Oh boy..

Something just doesn´t quite feel right when you all of a sudden feel like a tourist in your own hometown, would you say?
I can´t wait to go to the good ole' UnitedStates(of)Amedica. Here people are umm.. what´s the word i am looking for.. hmm.. oh yeah, like "ANIMALS". It´s crazy!
I´m serious,if you ever go here, don´t bother paying a ticket to the zoo, you´ll get a free show just by going out on the town, and the bird shit you´ll get on your collar, will make an excellent souvenir.
Sure, this is a one of a kind country, LoL, make that continent, but p, Lease! I mean, sometimes when you´re out and about downtown, you litterally have to stop and stare at some people and figgure out what the h*ll "it" is..
Although, really i am not one to talk. I have done my share of wierd acts in my days as well. But thank god we don´t have time to get in to that,
because it´s 4 pm here now, which means it is time for me to go and do something else.

Long time, No talk!

2005-04-19T19:16:00.000+02:00

It´s been almost a month since i wrote! I can´t believe it! Well, i guess this time i can´t lack of things to write..
Where should i start?

Joe is still in the sandbox! We have made it almost 5 months so far and hopefully only 7 more to go. It seems longer than it acctually is.
I am slowly starting to adjust to this whole deployment! Now, after 5 months has gone by.
I am not looking for pitty or anything along those lines, but i´ve had kind of a hard time lately with his deployment. I´m not getting into detail, but people who i thought was behind me and supported us has turned their back on me/us. I haven´t told Joe, and i am most definetly not counting on doing so.
It seems like most military spouses on here are the only true people i can truly relate to.
I have realized that this deployment has changed Joe as a person.
It could have something to do with the major living condition he is in along with 1000´s of more troops. *sarcasm*
I am still in even more in love with him, and i do believe that everything has a reason, even if it means that my husband has changed, God has only worked this miracle so it eventually will be a blessing and something more i will love about Joe! I mean, of course anyone who is in a warzone will change, i completely understand that.
I think it´s extremly important to be supportive of eachother when you find yourself in a situation like this.
It´s like that with me and Joe, He is the only one who can truly support me in this battle, same goes for him, I am the one he can count on regardless, and he knows i support him till my dying day.

It seems as if lately i have become this bitch! could it be? Hmm..
**Boy, do i think highly of myself**
These days, whenever i see a happy couple, it brings tears to my eyes, but at the same time, it makes me mad! Yes, you heard me! MAD! (I take the price, i know)
Seeing people so happy and in love makes me long for it myself, at some point, i just wanna tell them to get a room and throw away the key, (hehe)..
But i have to think longer than the length of my nose, i know that it is thanks to my husband that people can be happy and experience the same kind of love i share with him.
It just makes me frustrated becasue i need him, ya know? I guess it is true that when you marry a soldier, you´re also marrying the Army.. I must confess though that the love i have for Joe, is nothing like the one i have for the Army! But don´t get me wrong, i have nothing against the Army, just my having my husband stolen.

So graduation is finally around the corner! June 3rd i will be a graduate! I can´t believe it.. I so deserve it! : )
It feels like school is comming to an end! Me and my friends were talking about how wierd it´s gonna be to not see eachother anymore after graduation! Of course we will have one of those lame reunions where everyone has forgot eachother´s name and see who gained the most weight. But something tells me it just won´t be the same!
I am so excited about graduating though! Party!
A whole summer off without Joe is not gonna be all that amazing, but just having time off, will help me focus more on him and his deployment!

I have also decided to quit one of my two jobs. Which i´m not looking forward to. I mean, I certainly don´t mind it when my paycheck comes, but i simplu don´t have time for this job. I have been working almost every other day for 5 months now and they want me to work even more.
I really don´t like working there anymore! The people i work with are just awesome, but i ain´t gonna work my butt off at a place i don´t like.
It amazes me how rude people can be if they want to, Seriously!
Some people just think they got it all and an attitude that goes with it! As you may understand, i am speaking from experience.

I found out Jim & Sarah are having their baby in early may! I´ll be and aunt of two, Oh man, i have hardly grown up yet.
I am excited for them though! Their daughter, Rebecca, is just the sweetest thing you will ever meet! She got afraid of the easter bunny at the mall, That poor little creature thought the bunny was gonna eat her so she took cover behind her dad! I miss her, I haven´t seen her since last summer. She outta be so big now, I heard she is a huge fan of peaches these days.. Hmm.. (Got that from her auntie Victoria for sure).

I haven´t talked to Carolyn (Joseph´s mom) in a long time! I wonder how she´s doing. I wrote her an email a few days ago. I hope everything is alright with her and the family!
Joe´s brothers are so cute! Man, will the girls have a hard time trying to get a date with those guys, or what?
I haven´t seen joe´s family since december 2003. It´s been forever! I hope they are all okey and not too busy.
I can only imagine how much they miss Joe! I´ve said that once he will be home for a while, we are so heading up there to see his family!

Well i could go on, but truth is i gotta get sum dinner now and do some studying! I should enjoy it now coz in a couple of weeks, i won´t know how to do it anymore, hehe!

2005-03-19T09:44:00.000+01:00

It's been forever since i updated! or more like 5 days!
I'm so happy! Joe called yesterday AND today! It was wonderful to hear his voice after so long.
He sounded so tired and sad, (my poor baby, if only i could do something for him)
He said he's been working so much lately that he hardly has had any time to even eat.
Words cannot express how much i love you and how deeply i care about you and your safety baby!

My parents seem to suprise me more for each day! It has become obvious that they are not supporting this war! But i could never imagine in a million years that they wouldn't support my marriage! They love joseph and all, but i dunno, it could just be me getting it all wrong, maybe they are just as tired as me of having all the soldiers over there, but even if i am tired of it, i still know in my heart what a wonderful job they are doing and that it acctually indeed, is important for all the troops to be there.
I think the media is focusing way too much on the bad stuff that is going on over there, and less about our troops and the great job they are preforming. It is just unbelieveable what everyone over there has accomplished, each and everyone in their own way!
Our husbands are and have been a part of writing history, we salute you guys!

Work last night was just crazy! we sold for $1700 in an hour. MADNESS!
I'm so tired of working and school. Every day is the other one the same.
I can't wait for my husband to come home! I need to be with him,
i should get sum sleep now!

I love Jenna's layout btw! =)

2005-03-14T22:13:00.000+01:00

well well..

i'm exhausted.. Working really sucks the energy right out of ya, doesn't it?
I haven't talked to my baby in almost a week now! I'm never home when he calls, i just get the emails which is fine, but i wish i could hear his voice.
I miss him so much!
I was thinking about it on my way home today. Missing and waiting for someone has to be one of the worst things. Because you know you have it, but you just don't have it.
Joe is really proud of me for trying to stay somewhat busy and a smile on my face.
but it's hard to smile when you're heart is dying..but i have to.
I do believe though that deployments both have positive and negative sides.
Learning how to cope with a deployment as a couple is very difficult. I remember our first deployment, I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was just setting my mind on all the sleepless nights i knew would be ahead of me, etc..When you're deploying, you are changing! that is something i know atleast i had to remember, not just my soldier, but i am changing too.
But the key is that no matter what happens or what you go through, nothing will change your love if you will cherish it. I've learned to cope with the feeling of deployments, i know what to expect and what not to. And if i can,everyone can.

2005-03-02T01:43:00.000+01:00

Yippie! Today i am in a really good for some reason.. Probably because Joseph called this morning. My poor baby was so tired! And i was right, he has been very busy and therefore haven't had a chance to call earlier.
Hearing his voice again was wonderful and it made me feel so much better. I could go on forever about my love for that man..
He said he got the pillow i sent him two weeks ago.. Hahaha.. I'm zooo crazy.. sending my soldier a pillow.. i could have done anything to see his reaction when he opened it.
I'm going to the post office here in a minute, i gotta pick up another package and get it sent away.. i love making these little care packages for him, that and his return, is the only fun part of this deployment.
I just wish we wouldn't have to be away from eachother. Last year was easier than this year..
Well i'm off

My man is HOT!

2005-02-28T06:19:00.000+01:00

I haven't heard anything from Joe in a while now! I wonder how he is doing.. work is probably keeping him busy.
I hope he is safe and that he will call me soon.
It's so hard being away from Joseph. I found myself loosing my mind even more for every day. I'd do anything to have him back. I feel so depressed not knowing what's gonna happen. It's like, nothing matters anymore.. i'm just tryin to get time pass by as fast as possible, and when i can, i stay home all day, waiting to hear from him.
I know this is not how i can live my life for the next 10 months.
But what do i do? What do you do when you feel like nothing has no meaning or you can't find joy in anything?
I know Joseph wouldn't like it all if he saw me like this. I really am tryin to keep a positive attitude to this. I used to think that a deployment would only strenghthen our marriage, but now, i dunno.. i'm just very scared! Of course i know something good will come out of this deployment as well.. it alwasy does. But.. i dunno.. i guess i was just thinking things would be different when we got married, i never realized that i wasn't only marrying the love of my life, but also the United states army, lol..
But i know i have to be strong for my husbands sake.. He is doing a wonderful job and deserve all the credit he can get. Being over there can't be easy for anyone, which is why it's so important to let them know we are praying and thinking of them.
I dunno but sometimes i just feel like no one understands me, no matter how much i explain and cry.. There is always that gap that only my husband can fill..
It's gonna be a hard year, but if other can do it, we can do it as well.. we are strong and so is our love..
Today i went shopping for my baby's package.. this will be the 5th package.. man i am spoilong him.. haha..I hope he likes it.
I am working tomorrow night, (cry) NOOO! don't wanna..
Most of the pepole i work with are very nice though.. so the shifts are usually pretty good and go by fast. I always think about joe though.. of course i think of him everywhere i go, but he always pop up in my head at work.. i dunno why! Maybe coz i am so in love with him.
So i was reading an article about Britney spears and her husband today.. LOL.. they seem like an interesting couple.. he seems like a nice guy.. he refer to his wife as the "ass"
- "second time i was backstage, that's when i ran into her ass again"
sounds like a good guy, huh? oh boy.. well hey, if they are happy. that's all that matters!
I love you joe!

2005-02-25T10:36:00.000+01:00

Oh boy am i exhausted?
I just got home from work.. man i'm tired. Thank GOD i don't need to go back there untill monday.
I'm gonna get some sleep now!
Joe called this morning, but i missed it! Grrrr... hopefully he will call this weekend.
I love you Baby
~Good night everyone~

2005-02-25T06:03:00.000+01:00

mmmm.. i just had some apple pie. It was a hard battle between eating some applepie or going to the gym.. tough decision, huh? Apple pie is a good friend.. Becides, i'm really craving sugar now when i don't get my daily dose from Joseph!
No school today.. what a relief.. i got vaccation next week. It's gonna be wonderful to have some time off.. I really need to just relax. i wish i could spend it with Joe but i know i can't so i have to make the best out of it.

mm.. apple pie!

Tonight i was hanging out with my friend Sophia, She is amazing, i love her so much! we've been friends for 19 years and are like sisters. She has always been there for me, whenever i need here, no matter what time of the day it is. Being blessed with a friend like that, makes life so easy. Every time i hang out and am around her, she always gives me so much energy to go on. She is one of those people you meet once in a lifetime. When i am all sad and depressed and missing Joe, she is ALWAYS there for me to cheer me up and make things easier. I love you, girl.

Joseph called this morning.
He was really tired after working so much. He's working nights mostly and i guess that sucks the energy out of him. I'm very proud of him.
We got to talk for quite a long time... Hearing him say he loves me makes me feel.. umm.. safe.. I always hate it when he has to go, it seems like we hardly get to talk at all before it's time for him to go. But any time i get to hear from his is worth more than anything i own.
i know it sounds wierd, but joseph has a thing, that makes me feel so extremly safe with him, no matter where in the world he is. He is such a beautiful man.. i love him to death!
He said he wanted to take a cruise or something like that when he comes home on leave.
I think that would be awesome.. Then again, anywhere would be perfect if i could only be with him,
I feel like such a bad wife not being able to take care of my husband when he needs me.
I know i shouldn't think like that.. but he is mine, and i shouldn't have to share him with the army. It's just not fair. Sounds selfish? i know.. it's terrible.. i try not to be.
Seing all these couples holding hands and kissing, brings tears to my eyes.. seeing them happy together warms my heart, but still makes it hurt like a knife is cutting right through it
A year seems so far away that i can't even imagine it right now, but being depressed is not gonna help anything. I just need to take a day at a time..

Today it was Bonnie's 7th birthday. (Bonnie is my dog) She's so adorable.. a little spaniel with fluffy ears. Joe LOVES teasing her. Haha.. She's got the worst breath though.. poor doggy.. i love her though, it's amazing how much a pet can be your friend and company even if they can't talk, they do understand more than we know i think.
I really wanna get another dog, a shih tzu. They are so cute!! Joe and i have talked about it, and doesn't seem to have a problem with it, he just says that a shih tzu is not a dog, it's a cat..
The thing is that having a dog comes with so many tasks.. i mean, it's hard because you have to plan everything in detail. but i guess being married to the army, i should be an expert in that subject!
So, Joe and i were talking about moving to germany. We both LOVE it there, but he thinks it would be really hard for him to find a good job. I don't know. He just feels like he wants to take care of me, but doesn't understand that he shouldn't have to privide for me just because we are married. Of course i appriciate it, but i feel like sometimes, he doesn't realize how a life outside the army could be. Which is fine, i mean, if being a soldier is what he wants to do, i have to let him do it, right?
don't get me wrong. i am extremly proud of my husband and i'm not afarid to show it.

http://www.cavalier-king-charles-spaniel.biz/db_cavalier_king_charles_spaniel1.jpg
(my kind of dog)

I'm gettin some sleep now!
I miss you DARLING.

2005-02-23T23:02:00.000+01:00

I was so tired and didn't feel like gettin up this morning.
Do you ever have those days when you just wanna stay in bed all day? Today was one of them for me.. I had to drag my butt to school and find out we had a class for 30 mintes.
Grr.. Oh well. atleast i'm home now and don't have to work tonight..I can't believe it!
I should be going to the gym though, i didn't go dancing last night. I know Ken is gonna get on my nerves about that next week. Oh well.. (Ken is my dance instructor)

I found out Joseph called today. I was so mad that i couldn't talk to him!! I haven't heard his voice since saturday morning, then just for a few minutes as well. The poor man is working nights so he is really tired!
I'm very proud of him, he's so brave!

Well next week it's spring break, Thank god. i really really need the time off to catch up on my studies. I can't believe how much behind i am.. but that's no one's fault but mine.
I also gotta go to the post office tonight to mail another package to Joe. His birthday is comming up soon, and i send him a birthday package..Hopefully next year i can get him me for his birthday, hehehe..
I miss my husband so much!

2005-02-20T18:57:00.000+01:00

So..
Today i didn't accomplish very much! I woke up around 8 and had some breakfast, took a shower and then studied for a while.
Then i acctually went back to bed. i was so tired.. i slept almost the whole day and woke up at 4
and had some dinner.
Later i made myself a brownie! Yummy! I cut out a heart and put it in a heart shaped box and gonna send it out to my husbands birthday that's comming up soon!
this is our third year away from eachother at his birthday. I feel so bad for him.
I wish i could take care of him.

Tomorrow i'm going downtown with my friend Sabrina. We're going to some place to talk with abused women for our project. It seems like we both are ready to put down energy on it now. Before we were both like- ah whatever.. we'll do it later.
but now we only have less than a month to get it ready so maybe it's good that we're putting so much work into it.

2005-02-18T11:03:00.000+01:00

Another day is over, and i'm even more desperate for my husband than ever before.
I just got back from work. Gawd.. what a night.. It was pretty calm down though. (Just enough things to do)
My husband called this morning. I was acting like a JERK!! I can't believe i let my mind take controll over me when i get upset over stupid things. I was acting like the biggest fool ever and i feel so bad now. I love my husband more than anything, and he knows that. Yeah, so i do feel lonely and tired of this whole war, but it's no excuse for getting mad. Joe is the one going through it, the same thing, just on a different place. He is my hero and i'm very proud of him.
I think i just need to have someone i can blame for this war and for keeping him away from me.. and when i don't have anyone to give the blame, my poor husband, Joseph is the one that gets all the sh*t.. i know, i am such a bitch.. I do feel terrible now though! Of course i know all the troops in iraq are doing the ultimate sacrifice and are extremly special people with hearts and courage bigger than we could ever understand!

Tomorrow i have so much to do for school! It's stupid. whenever i don't have to work, i need to do schoolwork. Oh well.
I'm really tired tonight, I just wanna be in joe's arms again and kiss him.

One of the girls i work with was really sweet tonight. She just asked me a simple question like how i was doing? Of course people ask me that everyday, but she was very nice coz i felt like she really meant it..It was so good to hear that someone was there and really cares..

well im getting some sleep now! and come home soon!
I love you Baby!

2005-02-13T06:06:00.000+01:00

Well another day almost done and i am one closer to see my husband! It seems like the days go by so slow..
Today has been the best day during his deployment, he sent me a dozen red roses! Good Lord they are so goregous..I almost cried coz he wrote such a sweet note with them.
How can i ever express my love for him?
I don't have to be back at work untill monday. I feel real bad though because a friend at work asked me to fill in for her coz she was goin to a wedding and couldnt go if i couldnt cover up for her, and i can't coz i have a class during that time she needed me. GOSH i felt so bad, I really hope things will work out somehow. It's crazy that she couldn't even get a few hours off after working there so long.. it made me realize how hard it will be to get a week off when Joe comes home..Oh well..
today i didn't accomplish a whole lot more than cleaning up. I was meant to study, and i did.. for about an hour. hehe.. I'll try again tomorrow.
I ended up having choclate chip cookies tonight.. Mmm.. i haven't had them in so long..But i despertately need to go to the gym. I haven't been there in like a week, and im starting to feel it. I will end up going tomorrow night after studying.
I still don't know when my husband is returning from the sandbox.. I don't think anyone knows..
He is too much of a good man to be doing stuff like that. Maybe that's the thing though, It takes a very special person to a service member, i think. You need to have a big heart, and that's my husband right there for you and he gets it from his mom. She is so sweet.

i talked to my brother Jim tonight, we didn't say very much.. hehe.. it was pretty much a quiet conversation.. that's okey though! he said he would call soon again so it'll be aright. He is so great though, he always ask and wonder about how Joe's doing and when he is comming home..
He said his lil' toddler had been left alone in the living room for a while and had been playing with her mom's make up bag the other day . You can imagine the sight my brother met. A one year old little girl, smiling with make up all over her face.. hahaha..

My love has gone away, Don’t know when he’ll come home
Every night I sit and pray, That tomorrow will be “the one.”
So many days have passed, too many now to count

He gives me strength with words, That our love will pass the test;
That our love will grow stronger, and overcome the rest.

As I lay in our empty bed, A tear rolls down my face.
I long to hear his voice, To feel his warm embrace.
He stands for each American, he has chosen to fight.
He chose to be a soldier, And I suppose that’s his right.

I’m proud to be an Army wife, my service flag is hung.
I’ll display my yellow ribbon until the battle has been won.
This war is not over, until he’s safely in my arms.
I want to see his handsome face and know he’s not in harm.
One day soon the day will come, When my husband's fight will end.
Until that day, my tears will stay and I’ll do the best I can

2005-02-12T06:10:00.000+01:00

I just got back from work. It was harsh tonight.. I'm glad i'm home now, i would really like a massage from my husband though! He is so good at that.
This morning i finally sent his two packages.. Hopefully they will get there soon and not end up somewhere else.
I cannot remember when i have been as busy as i am right now in my life. It's CRAZY! it seems as if there's something on agenda every minute and i don't have time to think clear. It's insane..There are days when i just wanna stay in bed and talk to Joe, but i am hardly home to even talk to him. Therefore i feel like such a bad wife. I can't even be home when he calls me. What he needs to remember thought is that i am doing this for US, not me.. and regardless i will always love him and wait right here for him till he comes back to me.

Once again we're back to the story of cleaning.. I dunno how i do it, but it's a mess here AGAIN! i think if i was rich, i'd have plenty of maids to clean my house. I don't understand because i used to be very neat and good at cleaning, but something went wrong.. and i guess with Joe not being around, i don't feel like it matter.. haha..
But having a clean environment is important and is concludes how we feel.
Speaking about how we feel, I haven't been to the gym in such a long time, but try to exercise every day since it's so important as well.
Since we only get one body, we have to take care of it. Becides being back on the floor gives me no excuse for not working out, i just HAVE TO be in good shape or i won't have the energy to keep up,and that's that, i can't get away with it.
I was dancing before i took a yr break last year, andbefore that, i was in the best shape i have ever been in.. Which i am paying for now if i don't keep up the beat. The only thing that's important is that i enjoy it though, and i do.. i just LOVE To dance..

My wonderful husband called this morning.. i was so happy to talk to him. It's strange though because i feel so distant to him at times. I know he is the same man i saw just a few months ago..but i guess the fact that we cant talk or be near eachother is getting to me..
but the only thing that matter is that i'm so in love with that man and i could just go on forever about my love for him, and he knows that.
I was thinking about how drastic my life has changed since i met my husband. When i saw him, i knew the first moment he looked at me,that it was like God truly had sent me the sign.

2005-02-09T08:37:00.000+01:00

Today i got home around noon which was cool coz i thought i was gonna go full day today.
My husband didn't write me though, so he must be busy, God better be watching over him though!
I thought about how delictae life really is. Our husbands are fighting for something we take for granted but yet, the people they are fighting against seem to try their hardest to let something come in harms way. Why? Coz of the wrong religion? I think if you're killing people for that, you better re-organize your whole view on life. Well deep down they can't be happy... It's just sad how we take everything for granted. It makes me sad that people can't just get along..Just imagine what the world could accomplish if everyone would try to get along. I always say every person, no matter your background, skin color or religion is worth equally. We are the same person, just in different suits with different views and opinions. Why should the president or prime minitser be treated different just becasue they have another job from you and me? What about like a homeless man in africa? Is he worth less or more? And why? There will never be someone to tell me that noone is worth less or more, because we are all the same and we share the same decisions and thoughts.

No need to cherish luxuries cause everythin' comes and goes
even the life that you have is borrowed
Cause your not promised tomorrow, so live your life as if everydays' gonna be your last because once you move forward you can't go back so best prepare to remove your past

I miss my husband, i want to kiss him and hols him. He means the world to me. I just wish we could face it together.
I will be back later...
I love you baby

2005-02-09T04:27:00.000+01:00

yay, finally thuseday!! I'm getting ready to go to dance class. Awesome!! I'm so excited.
School was dreadful today. had to get so early and didn't get off untill 4pm. I held a presentation again and got a B+ on, yeah right? my teacher knows i should get that A+..I had a fun conversation with a guy in my class today.. He's pretty nice. We were talking about love and how it can change a person. Haha.. he told me the story of him and his girlfriend. He said it was their 6 moths anniversary last saturday, so he was all excited and had made great plans to take her out and everything. So they went to the mall and she got some clothes, then went to Olive Garden and had pasta, and he had bought her some really pretty earrings and wanted to give them to her, but then all of a sudden, all of his friends walks up to him and go like- oh who's this, i don't think we have met, to the girl.. hahah.. and more and more people gathered around them, so they went home and he put the earrings under some table cloth and went in the kitchen, then his girlfriend picked up the napkin and got pissed off. she was like- what the hell is this? you have someone else here? That's it, 6 months are over and i am out of here,hahaha..
but he end up getting lucky that night i think.. lol..they are a VERY SWEET couple though!Of course not as sweet as me and my husband. lol... nah.. just kidding..
But isn' it wierd how we change when we fall in love? Seriously, simple things as taking out the garbage has a whole new meaning. hehe... *Not for my Joe though, hehe. he never likes taking out the garbage* but do it anyway coz otherwise i'll just leave it outside the door, and the birds will start eating it!
I got an Email from him btw today. Not much to tell. I also talked to his mom for a while. She is one of the sweetest persons you will ever meet. She has such a big heart and is becomming a nurse as well. It's really easy to like her!

So yesterday, haha i told my husband that i want a baby.. of course he was like- Don't you think it's a little bit too early for that?
Of course it is. But what more beautiful thing is there to have a baby with someone you truly love? Haha, i dunno how i got into that subject coz nither one of us has a full education yet and dunno where we wanna settle down..
But ya'll know what though?
I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH! and having a baby with him is going to be wonderful.

Well time to go.
I love you Baby and come home soon, your mom and i miss you a lot! Hehe..

2005-02-07T04:54:00.000+01:00

Tonight SUX!!
I really don't feel like doing anything! I have so much on my mind. I miss and need my husband. when is he comming home to me?
He called me earlier, and every time i talk to him, i am so close to tears. Hearing his voice but can't touch him is very hard. I thought about my life before Joe and i met, last night. How life was hard, and yet so easy.
I had chosen to sleep alone at nights and push away everything that came too close upon me before i met him. But i let all that go for him now. When he walked up to me and suduced me with his eyes, without saying a word, he totally swept me away. I truly do believe that he and i were meant to face life together, even if it means that we have to spend time away from eachother in times like these. But have you ever truly been in love? So in love that when you look at him, you see your future? so in love that you struggle everyday to find the words that express how you feel for him? or been so in love that when he holds you, you forget about everything else and NOTHING or NOBODY else matters? He makes you feel so incredibly safe and stable in his arms?
If you have, you know that nothing can come between your love!
I love you, Darling!

2005-02-06T07:17:00.000+01:00

*Gasp*
I am so tired, but i'm too tired to go to bed!
My husband wrote me earlier, Yay! I hope i get to see him soon. I miss him so much, I want to see him soo bad,I melt everytime he looks at me! I am so in love with him, it's wonderful, but you know what the great part is? he loves me just as much. And to be loved by him, is more you could ask of life!

I talked to my brother last night, hahaha.. funny story, it turns out his friend is Britney Spears drummer and he has been touring with her. So my brother was all like- Man, it could have been me! haha.. poor guy. That's good for Mitch though. He is probably bathing in money.
I was like- if it would have been Britney's dance instructor i would had killed myself.
Although my dance teacher has been in a lot of music videos and stuff, i think her instructor is larger than life!
My friend is so annoying, GOD!!! We are having a huge presentation about abused women at the end of the semester, and she is mad at me coz she is not working, She wants me to do all the work and she'll be like- everytime i bring it up you always get pissed, we HAVE to start work on it and not just talk about it. i was like- Duh, that's what i keep telling you, but i need some feedback girl!!

I miss my Joe!
*Kiss's and huggies*
I love ya, baby!

2005-02-05T21:42:00.000+01:00

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that i saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And i don't think i can look at this the same
But all the miles that seperate
Disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But i hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything i know,and anywhere i go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And i dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me.

I Love my husband to death!

2005-02-04T21:53:00.000+01:00

Well, not much to say today really
I woke up and had breakfast then went to work and got home just now! Hmm..
Umm.. oh yeah, i finally did clean up. I'm proud of myself, now i just have to keep it neat and clean for longer than a day. It's crazy how i am messy like that.
I got an email from my wonderful husband today. Of course, as always, it made my day. I am so in love with that man.

Now i need to take a nap.
Laters!

I love you Baby.

2005-02-03T00:30:00.000+01:00

Well, almost another day done and one day closer till i get to see Joe. YAY!!

I just got home after another job interview. I got that job too! yay! I am working on sunday morning. that's not gonna be fun, but i will be making gooooood money! Yay!!
I aslo got an e-mail from my lovely husband this morning which totally brightened up my whole day!
Remember how i said i need to clean up? well.. i still do. That whole thing about being good and acctually clean up really neat didn't turn out be working all that well for me!
So, i'm gonna go for it tonight! I am going to clean out every corner. It just has to be done! I think my husband would tell me to clean up if he saw this mess, and yet he can live during VERY VERY bad circumstances and don't mind it all when you can't see the color of the carpet.
But growing up with an older brother, i should know what to expect. I have to give myself credits though coz i strongly believe that i take the prise when it comes to who has the dirtiest house of the two of us, even though he has a little toddler) Gosh she is adoreable, but i haven't seen her in soo long! My cute lil' niece!

I had such a boring day in class today, it lasted for 3 hours and we were discussing what the society can do to help those who are in need of it. (drugdealers, alcoholics etc) of course it was educational but not so important that we had to spend 3 hours talking about it!

Well, gotta eat lunch!
I love you baby and come home soon!

2005-02-01T22:17:00.000+01:00

I just got home after dancing! It was so much fun... My teacher is just awesome. He is so good and has been in a lot of music videos. (Got a huge respect for that dude)
It's really neat to get caught up in a moment when you're dancing. I feel like i am leaving my body and i just letting expressing myself! This time we did some choreography like Britney and Usher. haha.. also did some tapping, cracking and locking! I can't wait till next class! "Shake that booty, girl".. haha..

I'm craving a doughnut right now..

I was so happy this morning coz my husband wrote me an email! Gosh, i just fall in love more and more for each day with that man.
Today was a pretty good day in school. I acctually felt like i learned something. haha.. i always do, but today " i saw the light".. I had a presentation on my 5th hour about America! It seem as everyone really enjoyed it and my teacher liked it alot as well. My girls were all worked up about it coz they tend to get nervous easily. Poor kids! I never get nervous, just butterflies in my stomach when Joe kiss me! I really don't have a problem talking infront of a crowd. I think since i've been singing for many years, that has helped me!
It's funny though how people act different when they get nervous. Today i experienced that. A kid in my class was rocking her chair while talking, another girl was chewing on her pen, Some guy was sitting in back with his coast on and could hardly get out a word so he ended up talking about a hunted house. haha.., another gal stood by door and was playing with her belt.
I was like- " How on earth am i going to beat all these great presentations?"
They acctually were good ones, but it just made me nervous to see them nervous! I was like- "-Stop cracking knuckles, you're making me nervous"
But they got credits for it though, and that's all that matters and they did a good job. Overcome a fear is not easy.

So tomorrow i am off to another job interview. Now that i am nervous about! Figures, huh? Supposedly the money is ridiculously good. So, cross your fingers, ya'll?

This week i need to send Joe's package away. I am really terrible with remembring stuff like that. I mean, if i would enjoy it half as much as making them, there wouldn't be a problem.. hehe..

Well i'm off!
Laterz..

I love you, husband
and come home soon!

2005-01-31T17:13:00.000+01:00

Well..
Grrr.. today> No school! Yay! But i have to work tonight. oh man.. gotta go downtown as well to get some stuff for Joe's package. Last time i sent him some DvD's, and i know it's appriciated, not only by him, but everyone!
It's totally gonna suck to be away from him on Valentine's day, but oh well.. It's not the first time, haha.. acctually, Joe and i have never spent a Valentine's Day together. Maybe next year.. : )
We talked on the phone yesterday, but the call got cut off.. GRRR... we only got to talk for a few minutes. Talk about cruel torture. Anyhow i was really happy to hear his voice again. He always makes me feel so safe when i talk to him, sounds corny? hehe..
Anyways,
It looks like the election in iraq turned out pretty good, which was against all odds. I've gotta say i'm proud of the Iraqi's for acctually being so brave and voting. I think that shows a lot about them. But let's not forget that it's thanks to our husbands they got to vote! **smiling proudly**
I heard the presidents radio speech yesterday. He said the troops will remain in iraq, what is up with that? URGH that made me mad, The first reason to invade the country was to get the Weapons of massdistruction, then, he claimed the main reason for invading was to get saddam, then, it was to hold an election, but now what? what's next? I know it was for a good cause and important to be done, but please.. E NOUGH!
I guess i am just b*tching cause' my husband and 1000's of other husbands are over there!
Either way, i am very proud of all the troops in iraq! Their sacrifices are out of this world and i couldn't thank them enough! They all have a place in my heart!!!

"Pray for our troops~ They fight for you"

I love you, Darling, and come home soon!!

2005-01-30T13:00:00.000+01:00

Last night i woke up at 0200 and thought it was time to get up! I laid awake for about an hour and watched Elf. I fell asleep again but then woke up at 0700. I was really tired but couldn't sleep any longer for some reason!
I went downstair and had breakfast then took my dog out for a walk! She totally has a mind of her own when you're out with her!
Later i started gathering up for another carepackae to Joe. I dunno excatly how long it will take to get there! I sent the first one just last week.
I acctually think that making a care package is alittle bit more fun and exciting than to acctually recieve one, (haha)
I really hope Joe enjoys them, and all the effort i put in to making them. The cost to shop them off is ridiculous. (the last one was almost $50.oo) But what i wouldn't do for my husband!

I find it more difficult for each day to wake up with a smile on my face! I heard on the news that the president will keep the troops in iraq after the election! That pissed me off!! I mean, he wants the country to have an election so they can get their own independence, still he wants his troops to stay there and rule over what the iraqi government will do. That's like 1+1 = 3 to me, i just don't understand that man's mind.
I finally got time to talk to Joe online earlier, He was buying some stuff online, i guess that's all the entertainment available for them.

I miss my soldier, I love him more than life and it's him my heart beats!

2005-01-29T18:21:00.000+01:00

Yay! My husband called me tonight! It was so great to hear his voice after all this time. It was kinda hard emotionally to talk to him, but i was so happy to hear from him!
I love him so much!

2005-01-29T09:37:00.000+01:00

Today i have to study! BOOORING!! i've got so much in school right now, that i don't even have time to enjoy my time off!! It's crazy. Work last night was wierd, i got off at nine and went straight to bed. I was exhausted.
Nothing new more than that. I need to clean up my house too. It's such a mess. It seems like that when i'm not with my husband, i don't feel as motivated as i usually do. haha.. geez i wonder why??
Next week i'm gonna go look at wedding gowns, i already know which one i want (David's Bridal) it's kinda expensive, but getting married is a once in a lifetime thing, so i figired why not just go with the dress i want, instead of just getting some cheap dress i don't feel for all the way!
Joe isn't into planning the wedding all that much, but then again, what guy is? haha.. "hey darling, should we go with the pink or the purple flowers?" lol..
I can't wait till i walk down the aisle with him! I love him so much.
I wish we wouldn't have to go through deployments, but as long as i have him for life, i guess the future deployments and time away from eachother will only strengthen our marriage and we both will grow as individuals.
This is our third deployment and although it's hard, things have been working out fine so far. I think that if you have a strong relationship and are open and talk alot with eachother, there is nothing that can come between it. Being away from eachother can be good for your realtionship. (honestly) I think either long distance relationship will either make your relationship stronger or it will fail. It all depends on how much you are willing to work on it It's true! I know, if it wouldn't had been for the love of my husband, i don't think i could have gone this far. I see a future with him because he completes me in every way possible and he is everything i am not. The main key to a healthy relationship is to compromise and trust eachother, you will get far with that..
Well time to clean up!
I love you, baby!
Laterz!!

2005-01-28T13:20:00.000+01:00

Today i finally got an E-mail from Joe. I have been so worried about him, with all that's going on over there!
I woke up early this morning coz i had a doctor's appointment! I didn't have a problem at all getting up so early, but i usally do.. I guess the hospital is a little bit different from school though!
I also had to work today. I's so crazy to meet all these jarheads that are out there! I mean, seriously.. Haha.. It's hard to unwind from a day like this, but oh well..
Right now i am reading "Hereos at home" by Ellie Kay, It's an a'right book, but not soo good that i would strongly advice you to buy it! haha.. It mostly talk about her husband and people stories who have their spouse deployed. If you want good reading, i would highly recommend "Surviving Deployment" by someone i can't think of the name, (lol, I'll look it up) I think that's one of the best books i've read. It talks about everything from what to wear at a Dining out (military ball) to what to expect when deployment is over! It's great.
Oh and one more thing, i found this great webpage. A woman who makes deployment beads. (www.beadworkbysheree.com) it's a really neat idea and i am prolly gonna end up buying one even though their a bit pricey!
Laterz ; )

7 a.m!!

2005-01-23T07:34:00.000+01:00
I woke up around 7 am this morning, i was really tired, I thought it was late noon, and got really disapointed when i noticed the time, waking 7 a.m on a sunday morning is not a good thing!
Anyway, i talked to my brother last night, He and his family might be moving to Las Vegas, that would be awesome!
Today i really have to get Joe's package ready. I have been trying to send it out for almost 2 weeks now..
I have so much today, i am working tomorrow and friday night, plus school! And i am starting my dance classes again soon. I am sooo excited! I love it! I have been dancing for quite a while. I just do the street/dance/funk/break.
I can't wait!
I hard a hard time talking to my husband yesterday, i dunno, I guess i just feel like a bad wife for not being there for him when i know he needs me, it's not that i don't miss him or anything, i guess i just feel like if i can't take care of him, i'm not good of a wife!
I really miss him, i just know in my heart that he is the right one for me. Because even though we are apart, he still makes me feel really safe and stable, and that's not bad!
I love you Baby!

New job!

2005-01-22T13:55:00.000+01:00
Today i went to another job interview! I got the job! Yay! So now i have two jobs, but i need the money!
My husband wrote the sweetest email this morning! (I love you, darling)
With so much in school and at work, it's hard to get time to talk to him, But it's no gonna be like this forever though! He will be home soon, i hope!
I love you,baby!

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